FCKING BLOG

3 tests and a ODI series can seriously drain a man.  But they’ve been scheduled such that everyone takes a break at the same time and thank god for that. While I have my chance, here’s a review/preview/now view?.

India vs Sri Lanka

Well well well, we had Sreesanth returning in style with a brilliant job at Kanpur. All the bowlers have been majorly violated by the batsmen thanks to the pitches but Sree and Herath managed to raise the hopes of their kind with their display.

This series took a big list of dependable, bankable, marquee names and put in tracks that guaranteed that the batting half of these names certainly don’t fail. Pitch = road jokes were cracked. The Kanpur pitch woke up on the second day, showed everyone the finger and brought back life into the series. Most batsmen on both sides are safe as of now, Sangakkara would be disappointed with himself though.

The teams were evenly matched in most departments and it was expected to be a contest between the pace attack of both the teams and with the Brabourne pitch is being talked up as a gift for the pacers, let’s just see how it’s gonna be.

England vs South Africa

SA’s ODI form over the past two years has been exceptional with the only blemish being the NatWest series loss in England. Right now England lead the series 2-1 with one match to go in wet Durban. Graeme Smith’s himself has been frustratingly inconsistent and the collective batting slump between him, de Villiers and Duminy has become even more problematic thanks to the absence of Kallis.

Their team selections have become erratic with no one, not even vice captain Johann Botha being spared from a drop while England made all the sensible selections even as their main players were injured.

New Zealand vs Pakistan

Pakistan’s home series away from home began with a hard fought test which the Kiwis won in the last session. The Akmal brothers carried the team in the first innings after the top order  misfired and were supported only briefly by the seniors in the second innings. Shane Bond’s injury and the doubt over Iain O’Brien’s recovery however tilt the scales heavily in favor of Pakistan. Darryl Tuffey has a good record against Pakistan but being forced to play Jeetan Patel or call up Ian Butler/Tim Southee is not a position they would want to be in.

Add to that the inconsistency in the top order and yet another rescue act by Vettori in the first innings, NZ have to play out of their skins to win the second test.

Pakistan’s pace attack was simply brilliant, Asif returned to test cricket with his skills intact while Aamer and Gul backed him up clinically. Kaneria being a wicket taking prospect might get a go ahead of Ajmal but that is not something Pakistan would worry about. For all the fragile batting, where to fit in Misbah is still a big question. Alam, Farhat, Manzoor were all equally average at Dunedin while Yousuf and Malik only chipped in in the second innings. S o do they get another chance or are does the conveyor belt move on?

Update: Tim Southee has been called up to replace Shane Bond. But Tuffey has a better chance of playing.  It will be O’Brien whom Southee will replace if he plays.

Australia vs West Indies

The return of the not so spectacular first line up of the West Indies has been memorable for the grit of their bowlers and of the young Adrian Barath and Travis Dowlin.  The injuries to Ramnaresh Sarwan and Jerome Taylor has affected them badly but Roach, Bravo, Rampaul and Benn kept running in. Gavin Tonge and  Darren Sammy are the options Gayle has to fill in for the injured Taylor. Now if only the seniors like Chanderpaul and Gayle put in as much of an effort.

Australia face a problem with Hilfenhaus being injured. McKay has been named as a replacement but Bollinger will probably get a chance ahead of him. The rest of the line up is settled, even Michael Hussey got a half century and Australia will try their best for another three day victory.

If you can’t figure out who’s playing for who in this series, you’re not alone. This ensemble is good enough to make a soap opera of a series with all the underlying allegiances and doubtful loyalties.

England has in its ranks players of South African and Irish origins while South Africa has in its ranks Ex Kolpak players who decided to come back home rather than play under another flag.

The T20s begin today and coupled with injuries,  some weird selection decisions have been made. Alistair Cook, who doesn’t feature in the England ODI squad is set to open the batting. Andrew Strauss, their most prolific scorer in Tests and ODIs and captain of those two teams does not like playing T20 and hence will sit out. But wait, Cook is doubtful to start due to a sore threat and Strauss may just play under Collingwood in the T20 team.

The South Africans have a much stronger team. The sheer amount of players who can pass off as all rounders is their trump card. They have Albie Morkel, Duminy, Botha, van der Merwe and Ryan McLaren. So strong is their squad that they have rested Jacques Kallis for the first T20.

England’s response to this crack team of all rounders is a rather modest line up of Paul Collingwood, Luke Wright, Graeme Swann. Dimitri Mascarenhas is not in the team, Stuart Broad is out with an injury and Tim Bresnan has not done much besides a solitary 50 in the Champions Trophy.

The batsmen on either sides could probably match each other. Graeme Smith, Loots Bosman & A B deVilliers against Joe Denly, Jonathan Trott and Eoin Morgan.

The bowling is much more balanced with Dale Steyn, Charl Langeveldt and Wayne Parnell up against James Anderson, Graham Onions and Bresnan/Sajid Mahmood.

South Africa will use the T20s to test young wicket keeper Heino Kuhn as a choice for the future. He has been consistent in his batting and keeping for his domestic team and will be eager to seal a place ahead of other competitors such as a Morne van Wyk.

While India and Australia make a lot of noise about each other, while England & South Africa do the same albeit with more clichés thrown, Pakistan and New Zealand are playing a short, 3 ODI, 2 T20 series in the UAE.

Although seemingly these are two low profile teams, they are make an exciting combination when it comes to watching live cricket matches. The spectacular collapses New Zealand have conjured when playing Pakistan have  mostly come in tests but who can forget Mohammed Sami’s blitz in Lahore in December 2003. From 155/4 to 157 all out! Who fcking collapses like that?

Players you’ve gotta have in your fantasy cricket team for this series:

Batsmen: Umar Akmal, Mohammed Yousuf, Martin Guptill & Ross Taylor have all been consistent this year. Aaron Redmond & Khalid Latif are the two makeshift openers from both sides who round up this list as  economical buys. Both have already hit crucial fifties at the top to claim their place in their respective line ups.

All Rounders: Shahid Afridi & Daniel Vettori (technically a bowler) are among the best in the world and are also the best players in their team. Trump players. The third all rounder could be between Abdul Razzaq and Jacob Oram. There’s not much consistency from either but I’d edge in favour of Razzaq. James Franklin is an outside bet if he is fit and available.

Wicket-keeper: Kamran Akmal. Brendon McCullum has had a horrid 2009 and still seems on a low while the understated Kamran has plundered whatever attack he has faced since his comeback into the team.

Bowlers: Saeed Ajmal is the only spinner of note left among the two teams to pick and he is a good buy. Mohammed Aamer and Shane Bond have been the best on display in the pace department and there is always Umar Gul to depend on to clean up the tail. Kyle Mills could have a good day if the conditions support him.

There are dudes I haven’t mentioned who could turn up the heat in the desert. Pick them up in your team and sit back to see who’ll trigger a collapse this time .

Dhoni with his fantasy cricket spoils

Hahaha Dhoni! What a way to crap all over my predictions. You must be laughing smugly in your hotel room and winking slyly at Raina, thinking about how much more awesome your keeping is than Paine’s and how you can hit sixes over long on with just a flick of your wrists.

Smashing the highest score by a wicketkeeper/captain against Australia and helping post the highest total against the Australians in the first innings is a good way to answer people. Good move sending Yuvraj ahead of you and coming in before Raina and then playing to the plan. Let’s see you do that again, make everyone happy you punter!

Ishant, earlier the uncertainty has now sealed his place in the side for at least another two matches which makes you wonder whether it was the absence of Sehwag which led to his dip in form or was it an actual fcking rooted in technical flaws dip in form so serious that it cost Venkatesh Prasad his job.

The curious Jadeja<Bhajji<Jadeja>Bhajji phenomenon in which Ravindra Jadeja has bowled better than Harbhajan who has batted than Jadeja  is causing some serious filips in the time space continuum. Here the designated batting all rounder and the aspiring bowling all rounder are eating into each other’s points and I’m confused if I should just get two specialists in their places and get on with it.

Australia will miss their all round strength. Hopes injured himself pretty badly in the first match and so did Brett Lee although Hopes is out for the tournament while Brett Lee is being rested as a precaution. Shane Watson and Mitchell Johnson have both been ineffective till now although it’s about time for Watson to be warmed up and acclimatized enough.

The Delhi pitch should come as respite for the bowlers who’ve been subject to much violence in the two matches. If anyone remembers how the pitch behaved in the Champions League, this will still be the slow, low and deceptive track that teams slaved on to make runs.

Coming to batting, Australia must now also replace Tim Paine, reliable both in front of and behind the stumps after he broke his finger collecting stray missiles. Coming in his place is Graham Manou, no good as a batsman in international cricket so this makes Dhoni a better wicketkeeping option for your team unless you want to keep Manou because he’s so cheap and load up on other specialists.

This gives Shaun Marsh the chance to return to the top of the order while Moises Henriques can come into the team to provide an all round option they so badly need. Hilfenhaus who is a much better bowler in the right conditions deserves a match on this pitch but not only Bollinger has done well on this very pitch a few weeks ago but he’s also pledged to put in a 150,000% effort if he plays so that just wins the stats fan in me.

Gautam Gambhir’s policy of using his anger to motivate himself is working out well. The idea is to make a significant contribution before being run out so that the blinding rage fuels the next big knock. This self sustaining reaction is serving India well while Tendulkar takes his time to start seeing the ball and Sehwag starts doing just whatever it is that he does.

Raina, despite his flashy cameo makes it to the team primarily because he’s the cheapest buy in the Indian batting line up. Everyone has made their claim to stay in the team on both sides but Australia will worry about Adam Voges.

If only because of the pitch the Delhi game will be interesting to see how India handle victory.

And how they play now that I’ve praised them all.

Who let the dogs out?

This series will essentially settle for a while the question about who is the better among these two teams.

The series is also expected to (temporarily) settle the contest between Ricky Ponting & Sachin Tendulkar, the places of Nathan Hauritz, Ravinder Jadeja, Munaf Patel and Adam Voges in their sides, whether Harbhajan could be the bowling all-rounder India are looking for and the Cauvery river water issue.

Wait, it will not settle the Cauvery river water issue. That’s for the matches between Chennai Super Kings and Royal Challengers Bangalore to do.

So, sub continental pitches and a tradition of raising his game against Australia make Harbhajan a must have for this series. Yuvraj & Sehwag dominate on these pitches (remember what they did to England last year?) and this time they will be supported by Raina and Jadeja (they better be). The four will also shoulder the burden of India’s part time bowling between them.

Dhoni is a good wicketkeeper and was a explosive batsman but Tim Paine has been much more consistent at the top of the Australian batting order and makes a cheaper, much more sensible option over Dhoni.

Brett Lee has been in amazing form in the limited overs matches this year and his batting is top class too as he showed in the Champions League final but with his injury in the first ODI, Peter Siddle becomes a safe replacement. Mitchell Johnson comes into the team purely on the basis of his all round contribution while Hauritz comes in with his new found attacking belief. Of the Indians, only Ashish Nehra is a surety to play all the matches.

PK and Ishant might be rested if Dhoni decides to play Munaf and test Tyagi in at least one match in the series. Given Dhoni’s recent tendencies to not experiment with a combination this is most likely to happen only if the series is decided before the last match.

For Australia, Voges might play rather than Shaun Marsh as both Watson and Paine have had a good run as openers. Playing Voges gives them a middle order batsman as well as a part time spinner without having to disturb a set opening combination.

So, get your team together and earn your points already!

The finals are here and the results don’t lie. NSW and T & T, the two most consistent teams of the tournament have made it to the finish.

All of the players have contributed at one point or the other and this has been the standout feature of these two teams. The marquee name for the Cape Cobras,  Herschelle Gibbs flopped all tournament long and when he delivered, it was too little, too late. Ditto for Charl Langeveldt, Cameron White, Brad Hodge and many other big guns.

The previous match between NSW and T&T was at the same venue in Hyderabad and NSW were cruising to victory before Kieron Pollard sank them with his 18 ball 54. Dwayne Bravo was the only bowler from T&T that day to fetch wickets ( he got 3) while Dave Mohammed and S Ganga were economical.

The top order was dispatched early but contributions from Darren Ganga, Ramdin & Darren Bravo set it up for Pollard to finish the innings. Of the NSW bowlers, only Brett Lee and Doug Bollinger had success while everyone else leaked runs but the fielding was sharp enough to run out the three set batsmen.

Philip Hughes and David Warner had also put up the highest opening stand of the tournament in that match, 121 runs in 15.1 overs and the two have really been invaluable for NSW with their batting just like Adrian Barath and William Perkins have been for T&T.

Moises Henriques was taken apart but this is not KKR he’s playing for, it’s a team he takes much more pride in representing, I expect him to hit back with venom today.

Dwayne Bravo is the best bet for the trump player, his bowling had already been outstanding throughout the tournament and he exploded with the bat yesterday, just in time for the final.

Three state sides and a team representing a sovereign nation will compete in the semi finals to decide who goes into the final of the Champions League. Here’s a quick look at the dudes you might want to pick in your team.

Perkins of Trinidad & Tobago is technically a wicket keeper and an explosive opening batsman so he is a better choice than all the other keepers remaining, all of whom have been largely unimpressive.

The bowlers in the semifinal between NSW and Victoria Bushrangers will have a good time on the slow and low pitch at the Kotla in Delhi. NSW’s attack was good even on the Hyderabad pitch while Victoria found the going hard in Bangalore. The spinners of the two sides, Jon Holland & Nathan Hauritz have done well and will enjoy bowling in Delhi.

Victoria’s top order has been inconsistent while Warner and Hughes from NSW have been much more consistent.

The batsmen in the Hyderabad semi final between Cape Cobras and and Trinidad & Tobago will find it easier to slog  but don’t dismiss the bowlers. T&T were in a corner against NSW before Pollard let the crowd smell what he was cooking (Moises Henriques). If the bowlers on both sides hold their nerves despite any assault, this match will surely turn out to be even and exciting.

Charl Langeveldt’s return might see the Cape Cobras get an early breakthrough but they face an explosive roadblock in the form of Lendl Simmons & Kieron Pollard to get through. Then there is Dwayne Bravo to follow.

The Cobras batting too is somewhat  strong with every batsman except for Gibbs having contributed. Henry Davids has been the most consistent while Duminy & Puttick have done one man demolition acts too.

Group B of the 2009 ICC Champions Trophy is a story of consistent underachievers. Between the four of them they have one World Cup victory, two Champions Trophy winners and a joint CT winner. And the millions of semi final and final defeats it took them to get those results.

I.B. #Eine: South Africa
The favourites of the tournament. South Africa have a mountainous pile of reasons why they can win this tournament. Balancing all of them singularly, and rather spectacularly on the other arm of the see saw is their proven Inglourious Chokers tag. But this time something seems different. Will it be their year?
Inglourious South Afrikaners: Jean Paul Duminy, Roelof van der Merwe, Wayne Parnell & AB de Villiers.

I.B. #Zwei: Sri Lanka
The most naturally talented side, they have Angelo Mathews & Ajantha Mendis winning them matches by rolling over of the arm and flicking of the fingers respectively. They need their young batsmen to put in those big match winning knocks. Thilina Kandamby is already staking his claim so could this be the tournament in which Chamara Kapugedara lives upto his promise?
Inglourious Lankans:Tilakaratne Dilshan, Thilina Kandamby, Lasith Malinga, Nuwan Kulasekara.

I.B. #Drei: New Zealand
Any tournament they go in, NZ are expected to make it to the next round. More often than not this is as the result of the inconsistency of others rather than due to their own abilities. And they’ve made it to the second rounds and semi finals of many tournaments but haven’t had much luck going beyond that. The one time they did get through in 2000, they won the Champions Trophy. This time around too, the Black Caps have a lot of firepower but the question remains, will it go off?
Inglourious Kiwis: Shane Bond, Ross Taylor & Jesse Ryder.

I.B. #Vier: England
The most inglourious story of them all. More than anyone else, England are painfully aware of their own shortcomings in LOI cricket. In the past year they’ve beat a supremely disinterested West Indies & tired South Africa. But they lost very badly to a fighting NZ, a rampaging India & almost 7-0 to a vengeful Australia. To add to their misery, their best ODI players KP & Freddie are out with injuries and not playing this tournament.
Inglourious British: Luke Wright, Joe Denly, James Anderson & Graeme Swann.

The pitch had plenty to offer for the fast bowlers so he was obviously delighted when he won the toss having yelled "Headssssssssssssss!".

You don’t become the FCKing by self proclamation and owning a wardrobe full of invisible whites.

Making a team is a tough job which requires some serious rattling of the grey cells. Cricket lends itself to statistics like Graham Onions lends his name to bad puns.

There are a million stats you could look at. It’s true, such maniacal research is something non John Buchanan clones do too.

Or you could do it the old school way. Pick 2-3 key men and build a support act around them.

In fantasy sports it’s rare that you’ll get to make a team with 11 first choice players. If you can get three ‘stars‘ in a team, you’re a lucky bitch. If you get more, you need to set higher standards man.

The rest are the minute men who’ll hold together your team. These are the guys whose records you go through, the guys you pray for, the guys who’ll keep you on the edge of your seat every moment. And the gut twisting decision of who to make trump player?

Hell, you’ll find yourself comparing SWOT analyses of the guy you picked against that of the one you nearly did, hoping you made the right choice, praying for vindication, praying to be proven right. Nerve wracking, innit?

For some, it’s the thrill of the game.