Whatever that means. I can’t make sense of it just like I can’t make sense of why we folded twice in two days to Steyn, Morne on-the-up Morkel and Paul mo@~*f)&^%#g Harris.

I thought they were awesome and unplayable but I’m not a test player. The best cricketers from one country are supposed to compete with the best cricketers from another, not sit back and be glad that one of the two debutants will take the fall.

Saha, Tyagi and Mithun with .33% of test match experience each have been dumped from the squad for the second test. Dinesh Karthik, Sreesanth and Suresh Raina come in.

Karthik/Raina can come in the place of Saha, I don’t know where Sreesanth comes in. He should definitely not come in at the cost of Mishra because the bigger problem no one is talking about is the Harbhajelephant in the room. Bring in Ojha, bring in Sreesanth and stick with Zak and Ishant.

Graeme Smith will be prepared for a repeat of Kanpur ‘08. It’ll be pretty funny to see Johann Botha and Paul Harris running through us. Hopefully the inner Hulk in Gambhir has been angered enough for him to churn out a series saver.

Dhoni said it himself, T20’s are just warm ups for ODIs which the boards decided to package and monetize. So having gotten through the warm ups with a warm up to each, India and Sri Lanka will now meet in a 5 ODI series beginning Tuesday.

The Indian selectors have for a change made decisions which were begging to be made instead of waiting for a major balls up which would have seen us exit a prestigious tournament prematurely. (Oh wait, that happened. Twice this year)

Gambhir, Sehwag and Dhoni warmed themselves up nicely in the T20s, Yuvi got carried away and over warmed himself which means he will sit out of the first ODI at Rajkot which means Virat Kohli gets another chance to play and score more than 30 odd runs before throwing away his wicket.

Thankfully, Yusuf Pathan is still out. Unfortunately, Ravindra Jadeja has been retained. So while we won’t get to see 2 ball ducks, we will get 19 ball 5s and one, maybe two stupid, entirely avoidable run outs. The real all round strength will be in the form of Harbhajan and Praveen Kumar, both of whom managed runs against the Australians.

Zaheer returns to the ODI squad where he will share the new ball with his old pal Nehra. It’ll be interesting to see the two try to claim their place in the team before Sreesanth recovers from Swine Flu.

The Sri Lankan squad has some interesting developments, Lasith Malinga may be out with a fever and Dilhara Fernando could take his place in the side. Muralitharan is fit to return to the team but that leaves Ajantha Mendis on the sidelines.

Sanath Jayasuriya will move down the middle order while Dilshan opens the batting with Tharanga. The move to bring in Thilana Samaraweera failed at the Champions Trophy but Chamara Kapugedera has been scoring with a vengeance since then and ought to get a chance here.

I expected SHT Kandamby to play in the tests after the solid year he has had in ODIs but that was not to be.

India’s victory in the tests was more comprehensive than expected and SL had the right to feel aggrieved at the decisions that went against them but the truth remains that they were massively outplayed. Even when SL fought back in the T20, India never gave up, heck, even Ashish Nehra came out and whacked the Lankan bowling around.

Their ODI record against India has been pitiful of late. After the Asia Cup final where Mahela unleashed Mendis on India, the Indian batsmen have responded strongly and India has won three ODI series against SL.

This is SL’s chance to catch a weary Indian team on the backfoot. Sanga looks like the man who’s gonna kill himself trying to haul his team over the line. He needs a partner in crime to help him pull it off. Drop your Sehwag scrapbook Dilshan, get off the couch Mendis, get off the rocking chair Murali and deliver what your captain asks you to.

3 tests and a ODI series can seriously drain a man.  But they’ve been scheduled such that everyone takes a break at the same time and thank god for that. While I have my chance, here’s a review/preview/now view?.

India vs Sri Lanka

Well well well, we had Sreesanth returning in style with a brilliant job at Kanpur. All the bowlers have been majorly violated by the batsmen thanks to the pitches but Sree and Herath managed to raise the hopes of their kind with their display.

This series took a big list of dependable, bankable, marquee names and put in tracks that guaranteed that the batting half of these names certainly don’t fail. Pitch = road jokes were cracked. The Kanpur pitch woke up on the second day, showed everyone the finger and brought back life into the series. Most batsmen on both sides are safe as of now, Sangakkara would be disappointed with himself though.

The teams were evenly matched in most departments and it was expected to be a contest between the pace attack of both the teams and with the Brabourne pitch is being talked up as a gift for the pacers, let’s just see how it’s gonna be.

England vs South Africa

SA’s ODI form over the past two years has been exceptional with the only blemish being the NatWest series loss in England. Right now England lead the series 2-1 with one match to go in wet Durban. Graeme Smith’s himself has been frustratingly inconsistent and the collective batting slump between him, de Villiers and Duminy has become even more problematic thanks to the absence of Kallis.

Their team selections have become erratic with no one, not even vice captain Johann Botha being spared from a drop while England made all the sensible selections even as their main players were injured.

New Zealand vs Pakistan

Pakistan’s home series away from home began with a hard fought test which the Kiwis won in the last session. The Akmal brothers carried the team in the first innings after the top order  misfired and were supported only briefly by the seniors in the second innings. Shane Bond’s injury and the doubt over Iain O’Brien’s recovery however tilt the scales heavily in favor of Pakistan. Darryl Tuffey has a good record against Pakistan but being forced to play Jeetan Patel or call up Ian Butler/Tim Southee is not a position they would want to be in.

Add to that the inconsistency in the top order and yet another rescue act by Vettori in the first innings, NZ have to play out of their skins to win the second test.

Pakistan’s pace attack was simply brilliant, Asif returned to test cricket with his skills intact while Aamer and Gul backed him up clinically. Kaneria being a wicket taking prospect might get a go ahead of Ajmal but that is not something Pakistan would worry about. For all the fragile batting, where to fit in Misbah is still a big question. Alam, Farhat, Manzoor were all equally average at Dunedin while Yousuf and Malik only chipped in in the second innings. S o do they get another chance or are does the conveyor belt move on?

Update: Tim Southee has been called up to replace Shane Bond. But Tuffey has a better chance of playing.  It will be O’Brien whom Southee will replace if he plays.

Australia vs West Indies

The return of the not so spectacular first line up of the West Indies has been memorable for the grit of their bowlers and of the young Adrian Barath and Travis Dowlin.  The injuries to Ramnaresh Sarwan and Jerome Taylor has affected them badly but Roach, Bravo, Rampaul and Benn kept running in. Gavin Tonge and  Darren Sammy are the options Gayle has to fill in for the injured Taylor. Now if only the seniors like Chanderpaul and Gayle put in as much of an effort.

Australia face a problem with Hilfenhaus being injured. McKay has been named as a replacement but Bollinger will probably get a chance ahead of him. The rest of the line up is settled, even Michael Hussey got a half century and Australia will try their best for another three day victory.

You know the history between the two teams of late. India’s batsmen will be looking to avenge the humiliation they suffered at the hands of Mendis in last years tour.

A lot of unfamiliar names, especially and expectedly in the Sri Lankan side, so here’s a quick reckoner to who you can pick in your team.

Batsmen:

Thilana Samaraweera: In the form of his life, not even a bullet to his thigh could stop him from plundering runs in the test format. He had a bad time on Sri Lanka’s last tour here but now is the time to make amends.

Tilakaratne Dilshan: Everything he has touched in the past year has turned to gold flown over the boundary. He excelled in his role as makeshift opener and looks good to continue in the same vein in the tests if his form against the Indian attack in the Compaq Cup was anything to go by.

MS Dhoni: Not the best keeper in the series but worth his place with the bat alone.

Harbhajan Singh: Harbhajan’s bowling has become very unreliable but his batting in tests has improved vastly in the past year.

Zaheer Khan: Zaheer’s presence will make a huge difference as he is easily the best bowler India have by a distance. Add to that the lower order partnerships he has stitched over the past year in the company of Harbhajan and you will see why he is so crucial.

Rangana Herath: He is being tipped to be in the line up for the first test ahead of Ajantha Mendis. He had a brilliant series against Pakistan and was the highest wicket taker in the series.

Thilina Kandamby: Gave the bowlers a hard time over the past year with his brutal hitting while he stabilized Sri Lanka’s middle order. Deserved a chance in the test team but his spot as a starter in the line up is doubtful. Celebrated his selection with a ton in the domestic circuit, he’s in top form. Might be promoted to open alongside Dilshan.

Tharanga Paranavitana: Unless Sangakkara takes the extreme decision of throwing in Kandamby as an opener in his place, he is safe. He has had an inconsistent run over the past year, crucial knocks alternating with wasted starts and abject failures. He is at best a buy to cushion your other larger purchases.

VVS Laxman: A budget buy, he has also played brilliantly against teams that are not Australia. Under-rated even in fantasy cricket, he is a big farm of points.

Angelo Mathews:He has become a vital part of Sri Lanka’s unit in a very short time. He brings a crucial all round balance to the side and is a sure starter.

Nuwan Kulasekara: A vastly improved bowler but his performances have mostly been either at home or against weaker opposition. He has also developed his skills with the bat, enough to put up a frustrating fight.

Besides these players there are the big names like Tendulkar, Gambhir, Sehwag, Sangakkara, Mahela, Mendis and Muralitharan who are expected to dominate the series but the valuation of these players is such that they become too big a burden on your team if they don’t perform.

Sehwag and Yuvraj might be good purchases as both are likely to bowl and fetch the odd wicket on the flat pitches the tests will be played on. Players like Dammika Prasad could get a match, he had been crucial in Sri Lanka’s winning the decisive match of the 2008 series.

Sreesanth is back in the team thanks largely to the non performance of others and the myopia of selectors. He is likely to play all the matches and may yet spring a surprise.

Most Likely Starting XIs:

India: Virender Sehwag, Gautam Gambhir, Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, VVS Laxman, Yuvraj Singh, MS Dhoni (capt/wk), Harbhajan Singh, Zaheer Khan, Ishant Sharma, Sreesanth.

Sri Lanka: Tharanga Paranavitana, Tillakaratne Dilshan, Kumar Sangakkara (capt), Mahela Jayawardene, Thilan Samaraweera, Angelo Mathews/ Thilina Kandamby, Prasanna Jayawardene (wk), Nuwan Kulasekera, Thilana Thushara/ Dammika Prasad, Rangana Herath/Ajantha Mendis, Muttiah Muralitharan.

While India and Australia make a lot of noise about each other, while England & South Africa do the same albeit with more clichés thrown, Pakistan and New Zealand are playing a short, 3 ODI, 2 T20 series in the UAE.

Although seemingly these are two low profile teams, they are make an exciting combination when it comes to watching live cricket matches. The spectacular collapses New Zealand have conjured when playing Pakistan have  mostly come in tests but who can forget Mohammed Sami’s blitz in Lahore in December 2003. From 155/4 to 157 all out! Who fcking collapses like that?

Players you’ve gotta have in your fantasy cricket team for this series:

Batsmen: Umar Akmal, Mohammed Yousuf, Martin Guptill & Ross Taylor have all been consistent this year. Aaron Redmond & Khalid Latif are the two makeshift openers from both sides who round up this list as  economical buys. Both have already hit crucial fifties at the top to claim their place in their respective line ups.

All Rounders: Shahid Afridi & Daniel Vettori (technically a bowler) are among the best in the world and are also the best players in their team. Trump players. The third all rounder could be between Abdul Razzaq and Jacob Oram. There’s not much consistency from either but I’d edge in favour of Razzaq. James Franklin is an outside bet if he is fit and available.

Wicket-keeper: Kamran Akmal. Brendon McCullum has had a horrid 2009 and still seems on a low while the understated Kamran has plundered whatever attack he has faced since his comeback into the team.

Bowlers: Saeed Ajmal is the only spinner of note left among the two teams to pick and he is a good buy. Mohammed Aamer and Shane Bond have been the best on display in the pace department and there is always Umar Gul to depend on to clean up the tail. Kyle Mills could have a good day if the conditions support him.

There are dudes I haven’t mentioned who could turn up the heat in the desert. Pick them up in your team and sit back to see who’ll trigger a collapse this time .

*Aaila world record!

Tomorrow, he may or may not cross 17000 runs in ODI cricket, but here’s the story so far:

868 points for appearing in 434 matches (1989-2009)

8496.5 points for 16993 runs scored

1540 points for 154 wickets taken

524 points for 131 catches taken

-60 points for 20 dismissals for a score of 0

Bonus Points

925.5 points for 1851 fours

177 points for 177 sixes

176 points for 44 centuries

6 points for three 150+ scores

48 points for 24 maiden overs bowled

8 points for four 4 wicket hauls

8 points for two 5 wicket hauls

354 points for 59 Man of the Match Awards

Points for Strike Rate (where minimum number of balls faced is 20)

-18 points for 18 performances where strike rate is between 50-60

-22 points for 11 performances where strike rate is between 40-50

-33 points for 11 performances where strike rate is lesser than 40

Economy Rate points (applicable  where minimum number of overs bowled is 5 )

45 points for 45 performances where economy rate is between 3.5-4.5 rpo

34 points for 17 performances where economy rate is between 3.49-2.5 rpo

3 points for 1 performance of economy rate lesser than 2.5 rpo

-9 points for 9 performances of economy rate between 7 & 8 rpo

-3 points for 1 performance of economy rate above 9 rpo

And we get a grand total of:

13250 points

*All these points are calculated according to this. It’s pretty incomplete because they do not reward high strike rates and our man has rampaged on quite a few occasions. Another major hindrance was the absence of stats related to run outs effected as fielder/collector and bails-disturber. Also discounted are stats such as maiden overs played out, batsmen dismissed for a duck, & bowling strike rate among many others. Another bad thing is that this comes out to a meager average of 30.52 points a match.
My thanks and blessings to Statsguru for this one.

Moises Henriques is the next man who’ll be going out the revolving door that is the current Australian line up. Henriques picked up an injury to his hamstring in the match at Mohali and he might be flown back home with three matches yet to be played.

Henriques himself had been flown over as an replacement with Clint McKay to stand in for the injured pair of James Hopes and Brett Lee.

Australia are already playing their specialist opener Shaun Marsh leaving Nathan Hauritz as the sole spinner while Ben Hilfenhaus is expected to replace Peter Siddle. This will worry the selectors as Hilfenhaus was taken apart by the Indian batsmen in the second match at Nagpur and seemed utterly helpless in the unsupportive conditions.

Henriques barely had any time to prove himself in the one game he got but Peter Siddle’s injury changes the equation completely. The spot created by the absence of Henriques (medium pacer/middle order bat) makes it a contest between Clint McKay(pacer), Adam Voges(batsman, part time spinner) and Jon Holland(spinner) .

Since the overwhelming need of the moment for the Aussies is a wicket taking all rounder will they take a left of field decision like bringing in Andrew McDonald?

Side + Niggle = Siddle?

Charge In Pete is shuffling his way home sideways after ’suffering stiffness in his left side’ in the match at Mohali. Doug Bollinger bowled well in his role as the third pacer and now Hardworkin Hilfenhaus will get another deserved look in.

Unless the Australian selectors play the biggest punt of all time and bring in the one who can save them in these dark times while others fall by the sidelines. The Knight who will ride to their rescue, do a selfless job and retire to a life in the country side.

Dirk Nannes: Fast Bowler, Ski Enthusiast, Saxophonist & Your Worst Nightmare

On another note, Shane Watson vindicated my stance that he takes 3 games to settle down and it’s the fourth match where he gets going after which he lets loose case in point being the Champions Trophy where he followed up 2 ducks and one other negligible 3 ball single digit score with two unbeaten centuries and winning two man of the match awards for his troubles.

Virat Kohli made it to the XI ahead of Dinesh Karthik but did not play the career shaping knock that this could have been for him. Perhaps he felt assured by the line up that was to follow him but he has to take these chances when he gets them.

Sehwag has been frustrating in the manner he’s getting starts and then falling to pretty soft dismissals. Add Tendulkar’s under par performance so far and Gambhir’s absence on Monday just magnified the whole thing.

The Australian names have been much more consistent with Hussey and Ponting leading the way with Cameron White and Watson chipping in. They’ll pray for Shaun Marsh to get going soon and that would strengthen them considerably.

With this Siddle replacement, I’ve exhausted my transfers on Cricinfo and that leaves me playing rounds on Dream11 where points for round 2 are not being counted because the server was down. Bad servers and limp bizkit players take the fun out of fantasy cricket, really.

Sehwag and Gambhir may be out. Dinesh Karthik may or may not keep wickets if he comes in but will be classified as a wicketkeeper. He’s butterfingers with his keeping but the man can bat.

At least when he’s wearing red he does.

Kohli may also come in but he’s earned his place in the team. The most interesting thing to look forward to is that if India snatch the series in the next two matches, we might get to see how much Munaf has improved and what Tyagi is made of.

Dhoni with his fantasy cricket spoils

Hahaha Dhoni! What a way to crap all over my predictions. You must be laughing smugly in your hotel room and winking slyly at Raina, thinking about how much more awesome your keeping is than Paine’s and how you can hit sixes over long on with just a flick of your wrists.

Smashing the highest score by a wicketkeeper/captain against Australia and helping post the highest total against the Australians in the first innings is a good way to answer people. Good move sending Yuvraj ahead of you and coming in before Raina and then playing to the plan. Let’s see you do that again, make everyone happy you punter!

Ishant, earlier the uncertainty has now sealed his place in the side for at least another two matches which makes you wonder whether it was the absence of Sehwag which led to his dip in form or was it an actual fcking rooted in technical flaws dip in form so serious that it cost Venkatesh Prasad his job.

The curious Jadeja<Bhajji<Jadeja>Bhajji phenomenon in which Ravindra Jadeja has bowled better than Harbhajan who has batted than Jadeja  is causing some serious filips in the time space continuum. Here the designated batting all rounder and the aspiring bowling all rounder are eating into each other’s points and I’m confused if I should just get two specialists in their places and get on with it.

Australia will miss their all round strength. Hopes injured himself pretty badly in the first match and so did Brett Lee although Hopes is out for the tournament while Brett Lee is being rested as a precaution. Shane Watson and Mitchell Johnson have both been ineffective till now although it’s about time for Watson to be warmed up and acclimatized enough.

The Delhi pitch should come as respite for the bowlers who’ve been subject to much violence in the two matches. If anyone remembers how the pitch behaved in the Champions League, this will still be the slow, low and deceptive track that teams slaved on to make runs.

Coming to batting, Australia must now also replace Tim Paine, reliable both in front of and behind the stumps after he broke his finger collecting stray missiles. Coming in his place is Graham Manou, no good as a batsman in international cricket so this makes Dhoni a better wicketkeeping option for your team unless you want to keep Manou because he’s so cheap and load up on other specialists.

This gives Shaun Marsh the chance to return to the top of the order while Moises Henriques can come into the team to provide an all round option they so badly need. Hilfenhaus who is a much better bowler in the right conditions deserves a match on this pitch but not only Bollinger has done well on this very pitch a few weeks ago but he’s also pledged to put in a 150,000% effort if he plays so that just wins the stats fan in me.

Gautam Gambhir’s policy of using his anger to motivate himself is working out well. The idea is to make a significant contribution before being run out so that the blinding rage fuels the next big knock. This self sustaining reaction is serving India well while Tendulkar takes his time to start seeing the ball and Sehwag starts doing just whatever it is that he does.

Raina, despite his flashy cameo makes it to the team primarily because he’s the cheapest buy in the Indian batting line up. Everyone has made their claim to stay in the team on both sides but Australia will worry about Adam Voges.

If only because of the pitch the Delhi game will be interesting to see how India handle victory.

And how they play now that I’ve praised them all.