FCKING BLOG

3 tests and a ODI series can seriously drain a man.  But they’ve been scheduled such that everyone takes a break at the same time and thank god for that. While I have my chance, here’s a review/preview/now view?.

India vs Sri Lanka

Well well well, we had Sreesanth returning in style with a brilliant job at Kanpur. All the bowlers have been majorly violated by the batsmen thanks to the pitches but Sree and Herath managed to raise the hopes of their kind with their display.

This series took a big list of dependable, bankable, marquee names and put in tracks that guaranteed that the batting half of these names certainly don’t fail. Pitch = road jokes were cracked. The Kanpur pitch woke up on the second day, showed everyone the finger and brought back life into the series. Most batsmen on both sides are safe as of now, Sangakkara would be disappointed with himself though.

The teams were evenly matched in most departments and it was expected to be a contest between the pace attack of both the teams and with the Brabourne pitch is being talked up as a gift for the pacers, let’s just see how it’s gonna be.

England vs South Africa

SA’s ODI form over the past two years has been exceptional with the only blemish being the NatWest series loss in England. Right now England lead the series 2-1 with one match to go in wet Durban. Graeme Smith’s himself has been frustratingly inconsistent and the collective batting slump between him, de Villiers and Duminy has become even more problematic thanks to the absence of Kallis.

Their team selections have become erratic with no one, not even vice captain Johann Botha being spared from a drop while England made all the sensible selections even as their main players were injured.

New Zealand vs Pakistan

Pakistan’s home series away from home began with a hard fought test which the Kiwis won in the last session. The Akmal brothers carried the team in the first innings after the top order  misfired and were supported only briefly by the seniors in the second innings. Shane Bond’s injury and the doubt over Iain O’Brien’s recovery however tilt the scales heavily in favor of Pakistan. Darryl Tuffey has a good record against Pakistan but being forced to play Jeetan Patel or call up Ian Butler/Tim Southee is not a position they would want to be in.

Add to that the inconsistency in the top order and yet another rescue act by Vettori in the first innings, NZ have to play out of their skins to win the second test.

Pakistan’s pace attack was simply brilliant, Asif returned to test cricket with his skills intact while Aamer and Gul backed him up clinically. Kaneria being a wicket taking prospect might get a go ahead of Ajmal but that is not something Pakistan would worry about. For all the fragile batting, where to fit in Misbah is still a big question. Alam, Farhat, Manzoor were all equally average at Dunedin while Yousuf and Malik only chipped in in the second innings. S o do they get another chance or are does the conveyor belt move on?

Update: Tim Southee has been called up to replace Shane Bond. But Tuffey has a better chance of playing.  It will be O’Brien whom Southee will replace if he plays.

Australia vs West Indies

The return of the not so spectacular first line up of the West Indies has been memorable for the grit of their bowlers and of the young Adrian Barath and Travis Dowlin.  The injuries to Ramnaresh Sarwan and Jerome Taylor has affected them badly but Roach, Bravo, Rampaul and Benn kept running in. Gavin Tonge and  Darren Sammy are the options Gayle has to fill in for the injured Taylor. Now if only the seniors like Chanderpaul and Gayle put in as much of an effort.

Australia face a problem with Hilfenhaus being injured. McKay has been named as a replacement but Bollinger will probably get a chance ahead of him. The rest of the line up is settled, even Michael Hussey got a half century and Australia will try their best for another three day victory.

While India and Australia make a lot of noise about each other, while England & South Africa do the same albeit with more clichés thrown, Pakistan and New Zealand are playing a short, 3 ODI, 2 T20 series in the UAE.

Although seemingly these are two low profile teams, they are make an exciting combination when it comes to watching live cricket matches. The spectacular collapses New Zealand have conjured when playing Pakistan have  mostly come in tests but who can forget Mohammed Sami’s blitz in Lahore in December 2003. From 155/4 to 157 all out! Who fcking collapses like that?

Players you’ve gotta have in your fantasy cricket team for this series:

Batsmen: Umar Akmal, Mohammed Yousuf, Martin Guptill & Ross Taylor have all been consistent this year. Aaron Redmond & Khalid Latif are the two makeshift openers from both sides who round up this list as  economical buys. Both have already hit crucial fifties at the top to claim their place in their respective line ups.

All Rounders: Shahid Afridi & Daniel Vettori (technically a bowler) are among the best in the world and are also the best players in their team. Trump players. The third all rounder could be between Abdul Razzaq and Jacob Oram. There’s not much consistency from either but I’d edge in favour of Razzaq. James Franklin is an outside bet if he is fit and available.

Wicket-keeper: Kamran Akmal. Brendon McCullum has had a horrid 2009 and still seems on a low while the understated Kamran has plundered whatever attack he has faced since his comeback into the team.

Bowlers: Saeed Ajmal is the only spinner of note left among the two teams to pick and he is a good buy. Mohammed Aamer and Shane Bond have been the best on display in the pace department and there is always Umar Gul to depend on to clean up the tail. Kyle Mills could have a good day if the conditions support him.

There are dudes I haven’t mentioned who could turn up the heat in the desert. Pick them up in your team and sit back to see who’ll trigger a collapse this time .

Watching teams that I know shit about lose is quite a relieving feeling. No disappointment to shrug off. Maybe it’s because my fantasy team has been doing well. Or the hot cheerleader close ups.

The Champions League T20 has been fun with the pitches which have made it a contest between the bat and the ball. Hopefully more than a few minds will be changed about ‘the nature of subcontinental pitches’ by the time this tournament is over.

It’ll also valuate the IPL sides skill and sporting value wise never mind how much they cost and slot them in the world order of domestic set ups. Maybe the debate about what kind of domestic system nurtures the best talent will be settled here.

Also interesting to watch will be the difference in the mindsets of players when they play for a home team against when they play for a team that pays them a lot. A lot of IPL & national duds/ perennial benchwarmers/ discards are in this tournament playing for their state teams in the CLT20 so it’ll be interesting to see how they seize their chances on the closest thing to a international tournament they’ll get to play representing a domestic side.

Anyway, the return of international cricket to India and the planning for this tournament meant that I spent a lot of time online changing my team and found this while going through the rest of the site:

He’s no bird but boy can he fly! Brendon McCullum’s electric wicket keeping is only bettered by his explosive batting. Practice your skills with the Otago Volts, Kolkata Knight Riders & New Zealand wicket keeper as he prepares for the Champions League T20 in India.

Catch It Like It's Swine Flu

Click here to go to the Official Otago Volts League

The New Zealand domestic State Twenty20 champions, the Otago Volts have a new sponsor, Dream11, who have promised to feed 100 hundred children for every run the Volts score and for every wicket they take in the Champions League T20.

In return, the Otago Volts players will play some real cricket against the domestic champions from South Africa & the runners up from India who actually played in South Africa.

Then they will play fantasy cricket against Dream11 users in a public league on the site. They’ll probably interact with the users on the message boards, profess their immense respect for other players while justifying selections and omissions.

Some of the international players might be pulled into interesting discussions where they will be asked to justify their decision to play in a exhausting tournament in the middle of a hectic international season. Maybe we’ll see some wit, temper fail or a knack for the gross out. Maybe some’ll actually play and not have a dummy click on stuff for him.

Maybe it’ll be like Star Wars on Page 2 from Cricinfo during the IPL2 & ICC T20 WC. Maybe it won’t. But you might have Brendon & other assorted Kiwis for playmates.

Three of the four favorites for the Champions Trophy are out in the first round itself. South Africa found themselves clinically outplayed, Sri Lanka’s lack of experience outside of home showed while India, already limping with injuries, stumbled in a crucial match and ultimately crashed out of the tournament.

New Zealand kept going despite injuries to key players and England surprised the opposition by actually competing. Pakistan played a calculated game and seized their opportunities while Australia played like the last 8 months never happened.

We will let sleeping dogs lie and have their effigies burnt (in India)/ performances reviewed (in saner parts of the world) and concentrate on your team for the semis.

Australia: Ponting has played with venom and vengeance. Hussey has supported him well and while Watson hasn’t scored any runs at the top, he has chipped in with wickets. Mitchell Johnson bailed them out against West Indies.

England: Andrew Strauss has been spot on with the captaincy and Collingwood has finally put in some effort. Owais Shah & Eoin Morgan have contributed in bursts while the bowlers Onions, Anderson & Broad have been a revelation in discipline.

New Zealand: Guptill & McCullum have taken up responsibility at the top of the batting order and that has seen New Zealand get those good starts. Vettori  & Franklin have been vital with their all round contributions while Bond has reveled as opening bowler. Aaron Redmond’s inclusion in place of Jesse Ryder ought to strengthen their batting.

Pakistan: Mohammad Yousuf & Shoaib Malik have been solid in the middle while Umar Akmal & Misbah have been finishing the innings. The bowling is strong with the return of Asif to the existing line up  of Aamer, Naved & Gul. Afridi & Ajmal have been economical & dangerous.

Considering that Australia recently thrashed England 6-1 and that Pakistan take on their favorite bunny side NZ in the semis, it looks like it’s gonna be an Australia vs Pakistan final. If they learnt anything from their last match, the Australians will not let down even when on top because it doesn’t take too much for the Pakistanis to go on a roll.

Group B of the 2009 ICC Champions Trophy is a story of consistent underachievers. Between the four of them they have one World Cup victory, two Champions Trophy winners and a joint CT winner. And the millions of semi final and final defeats it took them to get those results.

I.B. #Eine: South Africa
The favourites of the tournament. South Africa have a mountainous pile of reasons why they can win this tournament. Balancing all of them singularly, and rather spectacularly on the other arm of the see saw is their proven Inglourious Chokers tag. But this time something seems different. Will it be their year?
Inglourious South Afrikaners: Jean Paul Duminy, Roelof van der Merwe, Wayne Parnell & AB de Villiers.

I.B. #Zwei: Sri Lanka
The most naturally talented side, they have Angelo Mathews & Ajantha Mendis winning them matches by rolling over of the arm and flicking of the fingers respectively. They need their young batsmen to put in those big match winning knocks. Thilina Kandamby is already staking his claim so could this be the tournament in which Chamara Kapugedara lives upto his promise?
Inglourious Lankans:Tilakaratne Dilshan, Thilina Kandamby, Lasith Malinga, Nuwan Kulasekara.

I.B. #Drei: New Zealand
Any tournament they go in, NZ are expected to make it to the next round. More often than not this is as the result of the inconsistency of others rather than due to their own abilities. And they’ve made it to the second rounds and semi finals of many tournaments but haven’t had much luck going beyond that. The one time they did get through in 2000, they won the Champions Trophy. This time around too, the Black Caps have a lot of firepower but the question remains, will it go off?
Inglourious Kiwis: Shane Bond, Ross Taylor & Jesse Ryder.

I.B. #Vier: England
The most inglourious story of them all. More than anyone else, England are painfully aware of their own shortcomings in LOI cricket. In the past year they’ve beat a supremely disinterested West Indies & tired South Africa. But they lost very badly to a fighting NZ, a rampaging India & almost 7-0 to a vengeful Australia. To add to their misery, their best ODI players KP & Freddie are out with injuries and not playing this tournament.
Inglourious British: Luke Wright, Joe Denly, James Anderson & Graeme Swann.

The pitch had plenty to offer for the fast bowlers so he was obviously delighted when he won the toss having yelled "Headssssssssssssss!".

Bilateral ODI Series are great.

Naah, I’m just kidding.

Watching two teams go at it gets boring especially if one of the teams is shit.  Right now that means England against Australia. But there is hope in the Compaq Cup where New Zealand are clashing against the mights that are the teams of Sri Lanka & India.

I like Tri Series for the simple reason that it makes fantasy cricket more exciting to play. There’s a lot of players to choose from unless it’s a tri series inolving Bangladesh & Zimbabwe. It’s easier for you to get a balance in your team.

The FCKing’s fantasy teams for the Compaq Cup are up at Dream11, Cricket Web, Cricinfo & Cricket Inc. You can add me or join my leagues, send in your requests to fckingblog@gmail.com

IFL didn’t even have a fantasy game on for the tri series while PlanetCricket refused to let me build a team saying I did not have full administrative powers on my account to build a fantasy team!? REFUSE ME WILL YA?! I pity the fools that flock there!

There’s quite some action in the coming months beginning with two major tournaments.
You have the Champions Trophy in South Africa followed by the Champions League in India which will keep you busy till October. Then there’s Australia’s gruelling 7 ODI tour of India and then England’s first series after their Ashes triumph, their tour of South Africa besides a whole lotta other cricket everywhere.

So get playin, cos..

"I love the smell of fantasy cricket in the morning.......smells like free electronics!"

Italian ancestry beckons Vettori to play in the Serie A and become the only athlete in the world to achieve the triple of 3000 runs, 300 wickets and 300 goals.

Daniel ‘Luca Brasi‘ Vettori is a Kiwi force to be reckoned with. Not a terrifying, make you crap-your-pants kind of force, but one you don’t mess with anyway.

You wonder where Dan would be if he weren’t from Middle Earth.

If he were Indian he would be a discard, if he were Australian he would be a one test wonder. If he were South African you could expect him to play for England anytime soon.

If he were English, he’d be the all rounder vice captain, if he were Bangladeshi, he would be the captain.

If he were Pakistani he’d be spending a lot of time denying statements and in the courts, if he were Sri Lankan he’d be called a chucker and a genius.

If he were West Indian, he’d be sitting at home while a bunch of second string players represented the Board, if he were Zimbabwean, he’d be a farmer…in jail.

But he’s not all that. He’s a New Zealander. He is their best, most dedicated, most untiring, loyal and able servant now.

He knows he will always be in the shadow of Hadlee but raid my castle and have me drawn and quartered if that ever stops him from going about his job.

In his own little unassuming way, he’s made sure that he won’t go down sleeping with the fishes quietly. He is the first slow left armer to take 300 wickets and only the second Kiwi to have made 3000 runs and taken 300 wickets in tests.

Cheers to a wonderful player to have in your cricket team, fantasy or real!

All the elements of spectacular batting collapses.

Using very high precision equipment imported from Republique de Ulhasnagar, I extracted highly unstable elements from compounds with extremely unpredictable properties.

I then blended them all in a blender to form a curious substance which upon exposure to any cricketing conditions it collapses like it were Sri Lanka playing Pakistan in international cricket.

I’ve decided to call this new black hole level sucking power endowed dark matter the New Zealand Cricket team.

The 6 ODI series between the Pakistan and Sri Lanka starts today and if their past record against each other is anything to go by, there’s not much time for pee breaks.

Anyway, while I wait for the Nobel Committee for Physics to fawn all over my magnificence and call me, the FCKing Dirty Dozen are ready for action.

I’ve left out a lot of crowd favourites, never been much of a populist. I’ve been forced to leave out some young turks I wanted to bet on and I’ve picked some who are gonna keep me praying, but such is fantasy cricket…no, life…..no, fantasy cricket.

Who’s in your crew?

Fck you test cricket! I'm off!

This just in from No Zeal Land

6 cricketers from middle earth did not want to be part of a doomed substantially lesser earning fellowship. They felt it’s much easier to just wear the Ring, wield the power and roll in the money.

These orcs in hobbit’s clothing had their series against Australia shortened by 1 whole test match to join the IPL earlier (theyr’e missing half of it as it is).

They’re making it sound like a big sacrifice on their part and they want you to love them for this hard decision they had to make.

The IPL itself states that the players must place their international commitments ahead of their franchise.

Unfortunately, the IPL also has a track record of spectacularly contradicting itself on a lot of matters.  Sure can’t take their word for granted.

More on this matter where this gem came from:

“Dad, did you ever score a hundred against Australia?”

“No son, but I had a strike-rate of 143 for the Bengal Whatstheirnames.”